MEMORABLE INCIDENTS

This page lists some incidents which stuck in my mind. Additional ones have been listed in the CONTENT index on the left of this page. Click on any of them, which you think may also interest you.

Incident 1

My mother brought me up to always tell the truth and to always be on the right side of the law.

One day, when I was about six years old, we were driving out of Tunbridge Wells towards Tonbridge. Mother was a the wheel of the car and got pulled over for speeding, by the police. To my astonishment, she totally denied she had been exceeding the speed limit.

It was lucky I was there and had been watching the speedometer, otherwise she might have got away with it.

Incident 2

My brother and I were sent to an all boys preparatory school where we boarded. Once or twice a term we were allowed out on Sunday, to spend the day with our parents.

Most parents would give their sons some treat to take back to the school in the evening. It was the school's practice that such treats had to be shared with other students who sat at the same table during evening dinner.

One evening the class swot and teacher's pet, Coleman arrived with a box of chocolates. Coleman sat next to Mrs. Donald who was the teacher who presided over our table.

Having selected the first chocolate for himself, Coleman passed the box around the table starting with Mrs. Donald. After the box had been round there was just one spare chocolate remaining.

In typical teachers pet style Coleman said "Mrs. Donald, there is one chocolate left, would you like it?".

Mrs. Donald replied "How very nice of you Coleman. I would love it".

Coleman's totally out of character reply was "Yes, I thought you would, but you can't have it", at which point he promptly popped it into his own mouth and made a great show of enjoying it.

Incident 3

A family friend who we referred to as an aunt, even though she wasn't related to us, was visiting.

She and my mother were having afternoon tea in the living room, where my sister was playing. No one else was around. My sister walked over to my mother and started whispering to her.

Mother looked at her crossly and said "It is rude to whisper in front of other people. If you've got something to say, say it out loud".

My sister replied "OK then. There is someone in this room who I don't like".

Incident 4

Our grandmother had a very spoiled cat named Susan. Nothing was too good for Susan. Sometimes when grandmother went away for a few days, to visit friends in pensioner seaside towns such as Broadstairs, Susan would come to stay with us.

When Susan was delivered she was always accompanied by her food. This consisted of one can of John West pink salmon for each day she would be staying with us.

On the way home from delivering grandmother to the train station, our mother would stop at the pet shop to buy cat food. Susan would not eat for a day or two, until hunger and the realisation set in, that it was us who would get to eat the salmon, not her.

Incident 5

When my daughter was five years old I was trying to teach her good manners. She would say something like "Dad, I want some sweets". I would reply "If you say, Dad please can I have some sweets", you might get some.

She became quite good at saying "please", so I was happy.

Then one day she had a relapse. "Dad can I have my pocket money?".

Disappointed I replied "What is the magic word?".

She replied "Abracadabra!".

Incident 6

When my daughter was five years old, she asked me "Dad, when are we going to France?".

I replied "We are going to France tomorrow".

The next morning she woke up very excited and asked "Dad, is it tomorrow yet?"

I replied "No it is today, but it is the day we are going to France. Yesterday, today was tomorrow".

She look puzzled and then after a few seconds her frown disappeared and she said "Oh, I see, tomorrow never comes".

Incident 7

I took a lady friend to Singapore zoo. While there we spotted one of those rides where you go into a small room, and sit in an open top capsule, which is attached to an impressive array of hydraulic pumps.

The lights went out and a movie of a roller coaster ride played, while the hydraulic pumps did their job of tilting us backward, forward and sideways, in coordination with the progress of the movie. My friend clutched my arm tightly, especially in the bit where the roller coaster came to gaping chasm, due to a piece of missing track. Luckily the car leapt the gap and the journey continued safely to its conclusion. She seemed very relieved when it was all over.

After we left the ride she then spent a couple of minutes walking around the outside perimeter of the building, in which it had been housed. Then with a puzzled look on her face, she asked me why we couldn't see the roller coaster track which we had just been on.

Incident 8

When my daughter was seven years old, we were walking along Oxford Street in London. She suddenly asked me "Dad why do you like to spend so much time looking in seedy shops?".

I was a bit surprised, because even though we had arrived at Leicester Square underground station and had walked through China Town and Soho to get to Oxford Street, I had diligently ignored the sex shops and peep shows in the area.

So I asked her "Which shops did you think were seedy?".

She looked at me a bit puzzled and replied "You know the big HMV and Virgin shops we just went to, you spent ages looking at CDs in those".